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Lavvy Being



I am Lavvy, a giant lavender mantid being with no hands. I received a very genuine medical degree from the University of the Galactic Federation, which proves I am intelligent. I am a Non-Human Intelligence! I reside permanently in an alien base in the Mojave Desert and I live to serve humanity with love n' light.


Some of my many talents include:

  1. Healing select humans on my magical retractable table while Earth government officials watch and that's not at all creepy.

  2. Attempting to find my way out of the alien base (I'm stuck here until a complicated expedition is mounted to rescue me).

  3. Holographically (see 2.) visiting select humans in their homes to warn of the coming apocalypse.

  4. Bumping my head on doorways because I'm too tall and NOT because the alien base is too short.

My special friend

In the year of your lord 2018, in my secret alien base, I met a special friend face-to-face for the first time. In the weeks prior I'd projected myself into her home as a four-foot midget (just for laughs) to tell her the only way to achieve world peace is for humans to urgently learn to communicate telepathically with each other. This must happen before the apocalypse in 2027. It wasn't until 2021 that she revealed my message to the world (well, to Reddit) so that's 3 years wasted, and so far not one human has learned the trick. I'm not giving away the secret! I still love you all, though.


CLICK to learn more about my special friend.

Aliens on the mount

“While it would've been easier for a man battling cancer to dig a 10-foot vertical shaft to reach our ancient alien base, we instead inspired him dig a 200-yard horizontal tunnel"

Lavvy Being

My unconditional love is for everybody but the only human I will heal in my magical mist of pure light is one stoned lady"

The Council

“Humanity, we have been watching you for eons and speak all your languages, but we only communicate with you via perfect telepathy that you don't seem to understand”
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